It’s not easy being a parent. You want to monitor your kids too much sometimes, prevent them from building their own self-confidence, and forget that they need to make their own choices.
It’s understandable, as a parent, that you always want the best for your children. But because they are not born with user manuals under their arms, we all certainly make mistakes, such as becoming an overly regulated parent.
Here are some pieces of advice and tips for parents who are looking to avoid becoming overbearing parents!
Be a Cool and Smart Parent
Although the super thin line is difficult to walk, it is absolutely possible. But do not overstep in either direction once you have it down. Feel free to be connected to your kids and have a sincere, deep interest in their hobbies.
But at the same time, if the situation calls for it, don’t be afraid to discipline them. Your son or daughter would, of course, be afraid to lash out at you, but that comes with the territory, right?
The main thing to note is that your child will be as open as you are if you can make the balance between a parent who gives off a feeling of transparency and non-judgment and a parent who has your best interests at heart.
And the knowledge that discipline is always mandatory from their “smart” parents also requires the love that comes with that relationship.
You have full control when they’re young. Yet, they may take different paths when they grow up than what you had expected for them. Bear in mind that your child will not be little anymore, sooner or later, and they will certainly reach adulthood.
Due to the changes it brings along with it, parents fear this point. The controlling parent is the one who finds it most challenging.
Your kids can completely break away from everything they believe that you influenced and attempt to express themselves in a completely unexpected way.
You need to realize that, as parents, your children do not belong to you. They aren’t possessions, but it is up to you to care for them. Let them grow and encounter setbacks at their own rate, but never let them forget that you will always be there for them.
Show Interest in Your Child’s Interests
Children are less likely to seek another person’s opinion on sticky situations if they feel more relaxed and comfortable talking to you about challenging problems.
You don’t want your kids to be taught by another teen on topics like drugs, sex, and the law. It’s ideal if they can speak to you comfortably. If you can create an atmosphere of open and safe dialogue with your child about sensitive topics, they will learn to trust and rely on you for advice.
Give Them Privacy
The more you linger and the more you interfere in the room of your children, the more likely they are to want to stick and cling to some shred of privacy and shut you away as quickly as possible. Give them a chance to screw up first, instead of being immediately suspicious of them.
As hard as it sounds, as soon as they close their bedroom door while having a friend over, don’t be so quick to pounce on them. If it makes you uncomfortable, compromise and leave the door cracked open.
You Don’t Need to Be Over Detailed
Though diaries and journals used to be stuffed under mattresses, we are now confronted with Facebook pages and Instagram accounts to deal with. And when we’re really aching to know some info, they’re not relatively as easy to crack.
But take a moment and consider your children’s confidence. The more you hound them for updates about what text messages they receive or who that kid is who posted about their beach images, they find common ground for social media to chat about together.
You may want to show them a funny meme you just saw on your newsfeed or a screenshot on your Timehop app that turned up. Be honest about your own social media and general social life, and in time you can expect more of the same from your kids.
Have Them Be Responsible with Chores
It’s easy to saddle the teenager with the tougher tasks and be more lenient with the eight-year-old about her weekly duties when you have three kids of all different age ranges. But actually doing so can create a rift of sorts, even though it’s not seen immediately.
Your child can feel it, and they feel you almost breathing down their neck, ready to point out a weakness in their cleaning or mowing scheme, when you put more pressure on your older kid.
Sure, that’s not at all what you’re trying to do or really set out to do. Yet, we still expect a lot and demand a lot more from children who are much more sensitive than us. So, it’s okay to give them some grace.
To achieve a satisfactory level of confidence in our parenting skills, we must learn to relate to our children transparently.
Bear in mind that your children will search for someone else if they don’t trust you, and they might not be the right person. This could lead them to bad decisions.